In Theatres
Your monthly guide to new releases
By Ingrid Randoja
MARCH 6
ONE WEEK
What would you do if you were told you had terminal cancer and only a short time to live? That’s the dilemma facing twentysomething Ben (Joshua Jackson), who leaves his teaching job and his fiancée (Liane Balaban) behind in Toronto, gets on his motorcycle and heads out on a cross-country road trip.
PONTYPOOL
Bruce McDonald directs this horror set in a radio station in a small Ontario town, where an on-air personality (Stephen McHattie) realizes the English language is responsible for spreading a virus that turns people into bloodthirsty killers.
WATCHMEN
The 1986 cult graphic novel that many thought was unfilmable just needed 20 years of CGI innovations and a public that was ready to accept its superheroes as deeply flawed individuals before it could make it to the big screen. 300 director Zack Snyder is the inspired choice to tell the story of a group of disenfranchised masked heroes called the Watchmen — played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Patrick Wilson, Malin Akerman, Billy Crudup, Jackie Earle Haley and Matthew Goode — who reunite after one of them is murdered.
THE ART STAR AND THE SUDANESE TWINS
Find out what happens when eccentric Italian artist Vanessa Beecroft sets out to adopt Sudanese twin orphans even though she lives a chaotic, unsettled life.
THE HORSEMEN
Four violent murders leave detective Aidan Breslin (Dennis Quaid) scratching his head, until he realizes “Come and See,” the words scrawled at each murder site, refer to the coming of the biblical Four Horseman of the Apocalypse, who herald the end of the world.
Last House on the Left
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MARCH 13
LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT
This remake of director Wes Craven’s brutal 1972 torture pic stars Sara Paxton and Martha MacIsaac
as two teens who are kidnapped, assaulted and left for dead by a group
of psychos. The same group winds up stranded at the house of one of
their victims, and when mom and dad discover their houseguests have
hurt their daughter, they enact gruesome revenge.
MISS MARCH
Eugene (Zach Cregger) and his girlfriend Cindi (Raquel Alessi)
were going to have sex for the first time on prom night, that is until
he tumbled down a flight of stairs and fell into a coma. Four years
later he wakes up and discovers his innocent girlfriend is now a
playboy centerfold, which means Eugene and his pal Tucker (Trevor Moore) are headed to the Playboy mansion.
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RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN
No doubt looking to save a few bucks by remaking one of its own properties, Disney rummages around its vast vault and settles on ’70s sci-fi flicks Escape to Witch Mountain and Return to Witch Mountain as suitable candidates. This new version (combining elements from both films) stars AnnaSophia Robb and Alexander Ludwig as two aliens masquerading as teens who enlist the help of a Las Vegas cab driver (Dwayne Johnson) to locate their crashed spaceship.
Duplicity |
MARCH 20
DUPLICITY
The month’s sexiest onscreen pairing has to be Julia Roberts and Clive Owen, teaming up to play lovers who become corporate spies at rival hi-tech firms in order to pull off a massive con.
I LOVE YOU, MAN
Every guy expects his bosom buddy, his number one dude, to act as
his best man at his wedding. The problem is, the sensitive,
soon-to-be-married Peter Klaven (Paul Rudd) doesn’t have one, so
he goes out on a series of man-dates to find his perfect pal. He
becomes infatuated with the testosterone-fuelled Sydney Fife (Jason Segel), which doesn’t sit well with his fiancée (Rashida Jones).
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KNOWING (pictured above)
In 1959, elementary school kids draw pictures of what they think the
world will look like in 50 years and toss them in a time capsule. The
capsule is retrieved, and one illustration turns out to be a bunch of
numbers, which a math prof (Nicolas Cage)
deciphers as a list of all the disasters that have plagued the world
for the last five decades. Unfortunately, the list includes disasters
to come, including one that will wipe out mankind.
SHALL WE KISS?
In this French film, a man (Michaël Cohen) and a woman (Julie Gayet)
meet, have dinner, drinks and prepare for their first kiss. But before
their lips meet, the woman wants him to know how powerful a kiss can
be, and sets out to tell him the story of another couple whose lives
were altered because of a single smooch.
SIN NOMBRE
Honduran teen Sayra (Paulina Gaitan) travels to Mexico to meet her estranged father. Together, they attempt to make the perilous crossing to the U.S., avoiding both custom officials and Mexican gang members.
MARCH 27
Before Tomorrow
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BEFORE TOMORROW
It’s 1840, and an elderly Inuit woman (Madeline Ivalu), her dying friend (Mary Qulitalik) and her grandson (Paul-Dylan Ivalu)
journey to a small island to cure the season’s catch of fish. When they
return to their base camp they discover their entire clan has died of
disease, leaving them to return to their island sanctuary to face an
uncertain future.
JANKY PROMOTERS
Ice Cube wrote, produced and stars in this comedy about two shady music promoters (Ice Cube and Mike Epps)
who hire Young Jeezy to play a concert. However, they have no idea how
to plan or promote their musical venture, let alone pay Jeezy for his
services.
THE HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT
When their son is diagnosed with cancer, a family moves closer to
his clinic to make treatments easier. Little do they know, that house
used to be a mortuary.
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12 ROUNDS
Miles Jackson (Aidan Gillen) is a psychotic mastermind who blames New Orleans cop Danny Fisher (John Cena) for the death of his lover. To enact revenge Miles kidnaps Fisher’s girlfriend (Ashley Scott) and then puts the burly cop through 12 death-defying challenges. If he survives, his girlfriend will be freed.
MONSTERS VS. ALIENS
Directors Rob Letterman and Conrad Vernon reinvent the ’50s “creature feature” for a new generation with this 3D animated pic. The U.S. government calls on a team of monsters (voiced by Reese Witherspoon, Will Arnett and Seth Rogen) to battle huge robots sent to Earth by the maniacal alien Gallaxhar (Rainn Wilson).
ADVENTURELAND
It’s the summer of 1987 and college grad James (Jesse Eisenberg) has under-estimated how much it’ll cost him to go to Europe, so he takes a job at a cheesy amusement park where he gets high, eats his fair share of bad corn dogs and falls for his beautiful co-worker Em (Kristen Stewart).
SPECIAL EVENTS ON THE BIG SCREEN
CRÜEFEST
Motley Crue in Concert
Thurs., Mar. 26, 7 p.m.
The legendary metal band performs at Toronto's Molson Amphitheatre in an August 2008 show.
METROPOLITAN OPERA
Madama Butterfly (Puccini)
Live: Sat., Mar. 7, 1 p.m. ET
Orfeo ud Euridice (Gluck)
Encore: Sat., Mar. 14, 1 p.m. ET
La Sonnambula (Bellini)
Live: Sat., Mar. 21, 1 p.m. ET